Chasing Pavements

I love the Adele song "Chasing Pavements", basically it's an internal battle of the theory of "Fight or Flight". We are all user of this internal theory, at least I think so. Although I am a girl that has been known to hunker down and ride a wave completely out, which is hilarious because I haven't stuck one toe on a surfboard in my life. But I usually don't give up easily, which brings me to my dilemma. I am at a crossroads where I feel like I want to pass on something instead of having a little more patience for fear of being "strung" along. In that same thought I really think it is worth the wait, but do I wait? I am not in a hurry per se, but the interest seems fading. Ahh, the devil and the angel on my shoulders speaking to me in code or maybe that is my subconscious that says"go Sabrina, why wait?" Ugh!! What to do? For now I'll put it on the back burner and write about yesterday.

So yesterday I woke up with such energy and rubbed my 3 little Buddhas and looked out my window at the ocean for awhile as to center my thoughts and mind. I love just sitting in silence before I start working or even preparing for the days events. I tend to be less frazzled and more organized when I collect my thoughts prior to getting out of bed. For the last few nights my roomie and I have been watching YouTube videos and laughing so hard before we go to bed that when I wake up to use the restroom in the middle of the night I catch myself in a chuckle because I wonder if she will prank me. Well last night we definitely decided that if we pranked each other it could not be a "buttered floor" which is one of our top videos to date. So last night after an awesome HPRD bout in Hawaii Kai, we invited over one of her paddling friends to have beers in the Hale and subject her to our nightly ritual of YouTube videos. Trust me, we laughed until we cried.

I am feeling kind of fuzzy today and I don't care for it. I think it is this indecisiveness of current situations that makes me want to be selfish. I mean why shouldn't I, lots of people do it and it is situational. I think I should weigh my options in the next month or so and then go from there. Yeah, maybe give myself a goal for this "situation", maybe write a list of pros and cons and see what shakes out. I so wish my Buddhas could speak. Well they can't, but I can.