Chasing Pavements

I love the Adele song "Chasing Pavements", basically it's an internal battle of the theory of "Fight or Flight". We are all user of this internal theory, at least I think so. Although I am a girl that has been known to hunker down and ride a wave completely out, which is hilarious because I haven't stuck one toe on a surfboard in my life. But I usually don't give up easily, which brings me to my dilemma. I am at a crossroads where I feel like I want to pass on something instead of having a little more patience for fear of being "strung" along. In that same thought I really think it is worth the wait, but do I wait? I am not in a hurry per se, but the interest seems fading. Ahh, the devil and the angel on my shoulders speaking to me in code or maybe that is my subconscious that says"go Sabrina, why wait?" Ugh!! What to do? For now I'll put it on the back burner and write about yesterday.

So yesterday I woke up with such energy and rubbed my 3 little Buddhas and looked out my window at the ocean for awhile as to center my thoughts and mind. I love just sitting in silence before I start working or even preparing for the days events. I tend to be less frazzled and more organized when I collect my thoughts prior to getting out of bed. For the last few nights my roomie and I have been watching YouTube videos and laughing so hard before we go to bed that when I wake up to use the restroom in the middle of the night I catch myself in a chuckle because I wonder if she will prank me. Well last night we definitely decided that if we pranked each other it could not be a "buttered floor" which is one of our top videos to date. So last night after an awesome HPRD bout in Hawaii Kai, we invited over one of her paddling friends to have beers in the Hale and subject her to our nightly ritual of YouTube videos. Trust me, we laughed until we cried.

I am feeling kind of fuzzy today and I don't care for it. I think it is this indecisiveness of current situations that makes me want to be selfish. I mean why shouldn't I, lots of people do it and it is situational. I think I should weigh my options in the next month or so and then go from there. Yeah, maybe give myself a goal for this "situation", maybe write a list of pros and cons and see what shakes out. I so wish my Buddhas could speak. Well they can't, but I can.

Aloha Honolulu!

As I start this fresh new blog from my desk in my new room in my new apartment which I share with a roommate, I try to figure where to take this topic. Lots of choices come to mind, from blogging about returning to city life, start blogging about my eating adventures, being single in the big city and dating experiences or keep on with the intense Bill O' Reilly type BS that I was yapping about before. I have made a decision I am going to Blog about all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly! With respect to the people that I encounter and those I already know, I will spare all of you readers the names of such characters because at the end of the day, I couldn't sleep if I exposed too much. Plus I want to keep you guessing and intrigued about my next blog. So keep in mind from now on these blogs will be from Honolulu on. I hope you enjoy them and laugh when it's funny and cry with me if I am crying. WTH? I don't plan on shedding a tear for awhile, because there is too much living to do.

Since I have relocated to Honolulu Hawaii from the neighboring island of Kauai, I have been settling into the busy city life of an island that has approximately 900,000 residents. Most transient due to high living cost, military arrangements, college and maybe homesickness. But me, I am adaptable I have lived quite a few places and traveled lots, so this was no culture shock to me. I have told my friends that have never witnessed Oahu that it's similar to Miami, where I use to live at one point. Oahu has the beautiful clear blue water with tons of aquatic life, it has some country parts and then it tops off it's glory with the hustle and bustle of the city including the most famous Waikiki Area and Beaches. The draw to me is that I can go to work in slacks and heels or a chef's coat, change and lay on the beach to either get a Pau Hana tan or watch the sunset.

I am sad to inform you at the time that besides Soul de Cuba, my dining experiences have not been good. It might be in part to my being so busy in moving mode and trying to juggle between job interviews, getting my stuff put up in the hale and getting to know my roommate. So I am not throwing in the towel yet, no way. I have cooked one meal so far and have product for 2 more in the icebox if that tells you about what I have been consuming. However starting next week opportunites of the food part of my life will arise. So I'll skip to the dating part, as I bite the side of my lip I think carefully about what to say.

Well I am interested in someone and I believe that we are in the "talking" and "patiently" getting to know each other. I have no expectations to speak of and of course don't know where it might go, if anywhere. But who does? So for now I am enjoying the time that I spend with him and look forward to getting to know him better. On the other side of that, hmmm. I think I will skip that now and move on to something else.

I left my solo living situation for a roomie situation in the big city for a few reasons. I was growing anti-social, Oahu can be very expensive in specific housing for a single person and I can meet new people. I also chose a roommate situation to save money to buy a house, hopefully next 2-3 years. If anybody is wondering I forecast buying a house here, but than again who can predict what might happen. My roommate is great, she is funny and treats me like Ohana. It's only been five days and I didn't get my hand slapped when I ate off her plate. We share food, we have beers and share You Tube videos and chat till we can't keep our eyes open. She has a dog, a Chinese Crested, which is so cute. I get to walk her daily even though I don't have much experience with dogs but hey, so far she has been a "hot guy" magnet for me. So her walk and my talk makes it a fun adventure.

Well it's Friday night and I am not sure what I might do. Tomorrow my roommate has a roller derby bout that I will go to after she and I go to the beach. It will be the first time going to the beach since I moved here. Yeah I know, surprised it took me this long? I'm not, I had to get all this stuff put away. Well I am tired from a long day and very hungry now so I will bid you Aloha, until next blog!

Grateful

The past year I have been drowning myself in to books, various spiritual books.

They all had something to offer. Some telling me to purge what brings you down, 

some encouraging move interaction with new people and some basically confirming

that my natural state of happiness is not fictitious. So as I enjoy my happiness and 

appreciate the beautiful landscape, ohana and what nature has put here for me to enjoy.

I am grateful!

Home

Since January I have had time to reflect on my life the course of it anyway, but I do find that I am content. Even though I am down one job that I took to travel the world. But was I a slave to what is expected of us, like work hard save a be a "worker bee" or was I really a slave to me, what i really want. So now that I have 1 job instead of 2, how do I feel. I think I feel pretty good, focused on my company and working on my book. Until I get the travel bug, I'm mean eating Saimin all the time is not stacking up the paper, but I am happy. Simple life. Instead I pack the truck and go camping or see more of the other Island around me that I think I take for granted. I talk with my friends more and smell the plumeria, which smell like Home. Home Home Home.

Dead and Gone

I don't know what happened to me!

A girl that in middle school, high school college was a sure in to get married and have a "Happy Ending", not so much. What happened, I don't know. Ten Years of B.S. but I found my way and moved on. Now guys don't want a "one girl relationship" they want you plus your girlfriend. I don't know what to do, I thought I paid for my sins, maybe I am still paying. How long am I gonna be in debt? From the looks of it, forever, death by chocolate! If I new that I had to hurry and get married by 20 I would have moved to India, my kid might get an arranged marriage cause it might be cheaper than therapy at 30. As Bruce Hornesby plays "That's just the way it is" plays on my computer stereo does not ensure me furture happiness, I move on.

Just Cause

So on the lighter side of the economy. I love the new McDonalds Filet o Fish commercial, I laugh my butt off everytime I see it.
The toughest part of my tuesday night is all my shows are on at the same times. The Bad Girls Club, Chopped, American Idol, should I invest in a TVO or what. Note to everyone, stay focused, positive and hungry!

AIG

If AIG is sucking on the tit of the taxpayer, I feel left out, I'm only getting over the sweater action. What the hell is wrong with these companies.If you get bailed out by "Big Poppa" all that bonus shit goes out the window. When AIG get back in the plus side than hand out bonuses.
Here's a better idea, these jerks still have a job, take the bonus and lose your job.