Change is Good

After a well deserved 4 week break, I am back to blogging. A lot of growth and change has happened in the last 4 weeks. Some of the highlights are purging negative and non influential people from my life, my need to seek a more challenging cooking job and moving into my own place.

If anyone knows me really well they realize that I am an ever changing person. I see new things and thrive to create possibilities. I have always been that way with my life and always will be that way. I reside in a State that, through my experiences, are not the biggest fans of change. I am all for if it's not broke don't fix it; but if we are constantly talking about the flawed education system, on going automobile traffic issues and employment troubles, than changes need to be made.

When other cities, states and countries are so advance and are changing to make improvements for a better life why isn't Hawaii? I am not going to continue on a rant to fix the numerous and various downfalls of this state because I am not a politician. However it is an example of how I have tweaked my course of life and how I will write the next chapter in my personal book.

I guess I am just tired of people complaining like they are victims of a life Voo Doo or something. I am not trying to be insensitive because we all have our ups and downs but I am true believer that like is what you make it. You hate your job or your not making enough money, move on. You don't like the relationships your in, be it friend or other, move on. Change is good, life is all about making the best of it.

So when you wake up each day or when you fall asleep thinking about all the errands you need to run, people you need to call or things you want or need; make sure that you adhere to them if that is what you desire. Go for what is in your heart and mind, and never settle.

Where I lay my head

As much as I am a firm believer that I don't need to worry about what people do and decisions that they make unless it directly affects me. Well in this specific situation it does affect me and I choose to call a "crazy bitch" out.

I am living with a crazy lesbian and can't stand it anymore. I pay her rent and I am never there. How can she still infect me with her negative toxins? Is she really that desperate for attention or does she love living her life like a victim? Hello Cybill, grow up these are not the cartoons and you are not Peter Pan. This woman needs to be alone, not get another roommate to infect with her craziness, mood swing and multiple personalities. What a shame, I know that everyone is different but some people should not be in a close living space when they are toxic and insane. I can't wait for my big change in the next 3 weeks because I am leaving this Krazy Kamp alone forever.

Walk Tall

When something happens that is unplanned, how do you adjust to it? People with positive energy and an optimistic outlook will face it head on, make a plan to remedy it and move on. That is what I have done in the last few weeks and it feels good. I used to wait around for my 3 bad things to happen and then realize I will be back to normal. Now I focus on the positive of the situation, because there always is something positive and once again, move forward. I believe that if you let negative things fester, they breed. They breed bad energy and multiply like Gremlins. If you refuse to allow it and focus on a way around, through and over the situation things will change for the better and strength and tolerance will prevail. Walk tall, walk smart and walk happy.

Being the Ball

When it comes to looking for the right relationship I tend to find that I have a big heart. Having a big heart is a good thing but it also lends me to be too soft hearted when it comes to guys. Everyone has expectations of the type of relationship they want, although sometimes we tend to lower our expectations. Well through recent failed dating experiments I will no longer lower my expectations. I think not only is that fair to me, but also to my potential dates. So in that case why do guys say that girls are "too picky" and girls express that we need to be "more picky" when it comes to dating? I think it's because we all have and ideal image of who we want a relationship with and instead of holding out we attempt to try someone less than our ideal image. In my mind that is a good thing because that person may surprise you and be the one. Well in my case, na lets not get into it. I just have to admit there are more losses than wins(enter sigh now). So I have devised a new approach to dating, not a complete documented theory but a few new stepping stones. Through advice of friends and family, I will be picky and keep my eye on the prize. To empower my friends and family I tend to use the phrase "be the ball", now I think it's my turn to "be the ball"(enter chuckle now). I am in a new city with lots of options, why not focus on exactly what I am looking for and not settle for less? In reality I think it is easier said than done. But on the other hand it gives me the excuse to go shopping for new clothes for a new dating adventure.

Vision

Life can be so amazing if you keep your eyes open. Not only keeping your eyes open but having a panoramic view so you can see all that it offers. We are so use to walking through life with blinders on, making judgements about things and people we don't have a clear view of. Is it safer to view that way? Do we want to shield ourselves from the unknown? If so, than why? All I know is that I see in panoramic now and soak it all in. I no longer will judge unfairly and early. I intend to give everyone and every opportunity to show itself to me and embrace all it has to offer. "Don't judge a book by its cover", why would you when there is so much inside the bindings and the outer layer. See with in open mind, feel with an open heart and touch with embracing hands. Aloha

Happiness

The smell of my daughters breathe while she sleeps, the ruffles in the ocean while I lay beside it, the sound of children laughing while they play. To define happiness you have to look within yourself, because happiness is an emotion defined truly by an individual. What makes me happy may not always be tangible like a new pair or red 4in heels or a brand new shiny Kathy Van Zeeland handbag. My happiness stems from what my daughter does, says, laughs, dances when she hears her favorite song or even the look she gives me when she talks to me. I am also happy when I am surrounded by food, whether it's at a restaurant, a small intimate setting or if I am at the beach with friends and everyone has brought their favorite dish, the feeling is amazing. Making someone else happy or even yourself happy is very important in life. Also be grateful for what you have that makes you happy and be thankful for it. Take a moment today and write out what makes you happy in your life. Once you have finished, read over it and smiled, say out loud how you are thankful for it all; do not be sad for what you don't have, but content that you are blessed with things to make your life a joy.

Crumbs

This blog is inspired by a post my friend put on her Facebook page. I won't say who it is but I will quote her. "I DESERVE...", if you look at the two words over and over again it really makes you think. What do I DESERVE? Of course everyone in their mind has their perfect answer, but to see the comments left on her post, it all makes sense. My friend who wrote that post deserves everything in this world that is wonderful. She deserves everything that she dreams of, works hard for and desires, why shouldn't she? Shouldn't everyone get what they deserve? Or should people settle with crumbs? I think everyone knows what I am talking about, crumbs, left overs, less than the best, the bottom of the barrel.

I recently without many people knowing pursued a guy who in actuality had nothing to offer me that was genuine. He wasn't willing to think of someones feeling other than himself, monopolized our conversations and wasn't willing to give, but was a willing taker. Being blinded by the physical, trying to compromise on what my needs and desires are, I forgot about what I truly deserved. When I finally got my head out of the clouds I realized, I don't deserve someone degrading me and talking down to me like I am less of a person or not respecting what I have to say or decisions that I make. I don't deserve someone that talks about themselves all the time and doesn't take the time out to realize that I am a wonderful person inside and out. DO I DESERVE THAT! Nope and neither does anyone else. Those are crumbs. I deserve someone who will listen to me without interrupting and someone who asks "what can I do for you?" So my beautiful friend with such a big heart and positive spirit, I send this out to you and all the woman who have so much to offer and share, don't settle for crumbs because you deserve nothing less than the world.